We’re home! And I’m almost afraid to talk about this trip because it was so perfect. With the exception of a single “meh” travel day, everything surpassed my expectations. So, while it’s still fresh, I wanted to share a few of the fun and random and bizarre things that I learned in Ireland—and other places. The list below doesn’t cover much of the actual book research. (That’s coming later). I compiled it with my friend, fellow writer, and travel buddy extraordinaire
. (Make sure you read her upcoming take on all of the points below). Thanks for sticking with me. We’ll be back to our regularly scheduled program this week. So, without further ado, here is what I (we) learned during twelve days, five countries, and the trip of a lifetime…Use a travel agent. No, seriously, do not book a two-week European research trip on your own. I won’t bore you with the details. But let’s just say that (I assume) some bean counter in the Travelocity basement stumbled across our booking and shrieked, “Absolutely NOT! They didn’t pay enough for these tickets. Let’s cancel all their return flights and force them to re-book for three times the price.” We did not rebook. We canceled our reservations (with great difficulty and not a small amount of cursing) then ran straight to a brilliant travel agent who absolutely saved the day. Lesson learned. Leave complicated flight logistics to the professionals.
Here’s why vehicles in the Commonwealth drive on the wrong side of the road AND the wrong side of the car: it is to accommodate the monarch. In ye olden days, the King’s carriage opened on the right side. So when motor vehicles finally made it across the pond, they (always the mysterious “they”) decided that instead of asking the King to begin exiting on the left, they would re-engineer the vehicles instead and require a large portion of the world to accommodate one man. Fascinating.
All of the Botox in the entire world is made in Westport, Ireland. We learned this in the middle of a tour of Westport House itself. It was certainly a non sequitur regarding the history of said house (built on the ruins of one of Grace O’Malley’s castles), but it stuck with us. Go figure! If I’d had to put money on where Botox was made, I’d have said California.
You cannot dry your hair in a UK bathroom. You have to dry it sitting down in the bedroom because there are no outlets in the bathroom at all. There is only a plug for an electric razor. Is this normal overseas? If so, why? Did someone try to dry their hair while in the bathtub and accidentally blow up the Ritz? Truly, I’m so curious about this.
Speaking of hair, a hat and/or a hood is an absolute must when traveling in the UK. Rain comes, and goes, and comes again. Also, a sturdy pair of waterproof boots and a decent pair of white sneakers are all you really need. Don’t pack any other shoes. They’ll only take up much-needed space in your carryon. And yes, you can (and should) limit your luggage to carryons only. You will thank me later.
The Hague looks like Hogwarts. Having never committed war crimes, and thus never seeing the Hague in person before, we all assumed that the international criminal court would be a big, shiny campus filled with glass and metal buildings. Not so! It’s an enormous, beautiful administrative building called The Peace Palace. Fun fact: construction of the Hague was paid for by Andrew Carnegie. He had to create the Carnegie Foundation to do so and the foundation still owns and maintains the Palace. Could we have figured this out in advance simply by Googling? Sure. But then we wouldn’t have been so delighted by the surprise.
Speaking of surprises, here’s a saying for you: “Surprise is the great enabler of seeing.” Meaning that if you know it’s coming, it won’t take your breath away. I forget who first said that (it has something to do with the Grand Canyon) but that saying became the theme of our trip.
Six-foot-tall geraniums exist. And we found them outside the gates of the Hague. Not sure why I found this so enchanting, but I did. Perhaps because they were my grandmother’s favorite flower and my mother still grows them? Regardless, to this day, the wet-earth smell of geraniums takes me back to my grandmother’s patio in west Texas.
The Book of Kells has a 400-year-gap in its documented history. Full disclosure: I didn’t know much about the Book of Kells until this trip. Basically it is an 8th century illuminated manuscript depicting the first four books of the New Testament. It’s located at the Trinity Library in Dublin and has a cray-cray history. Like, the kind of history that keeps novelists awake at night. And the best part? There’s a big, four-hundred-year sized gap right in the middle. Hhhhmmm, I wonder what could have happened to the infamous book during those years?
You don’t ever want to end up in an oubliette. Trust me, they’re very medieval. An oubliette is pretty much just a thirty-foot hole in a dungeon where they tossed you and let you starve to death. Did we accidentally end up standing in the door to one such torture device without knowing it? Yes. But we were trying to wait out an unexpected rain shower. No tourists were harmed in the making of this anecdote.
Large parts of Braveheart were filmed at Trim Castle. Braveheart is my all-time second-favorite movie (surpassed only by Gladiator). And! Shocker! Big chunks of it were filmed in Ireland, not Scotland. Trim Castle is located about an hour north-ish of Dublin (I wasn’t driving or navigating so I’m fuzzy on the geographic details). The castle is a “preserved ruin” as opposed to a “restored castle.” It’s very rustic and gorgeous and if you are ever in Ireland you can see the exact spot where they filmed the sacking of York, the scene where Longshanks chucked his son’s lover out the window, and the “Freeeeddddoooommmm!” declaration. Well worth our time.
Many medieval castles were built with stumble steps. These steps of varying height and width were designed to literally trip invading forces as they ran up the dark, narrow spiral staircases. Speaking of which…
If you are right-handed, you cannot swing a sword going up clock-wise built spiral staircases in a castle. You can only stab or deflect a blow. However, if you are defending the fortress and coming down, you have both the high ground and the ability to swing. Turns out, seven in ten people are right handed. If you were left handed in medieval times, you weren’t allowed in the army. Likely because they’d already killed you since they believed that left-handed people were possessed by the devil.
Bodily fluids were collected to…wait for it…disinfect clothing. This gist: people bathed once or twice a year. 🤢 🤢 Also, indoor plumbing wasn’t a thing. Instead, many castles were equipped with chutes that ran along the outer walls and collected bodily fluids into barrels outside. However, instead emptying these rather large, odorous chamber pots, a man was assigned to stir them once a day. The resulting ammonia fumes would rise back up and chute and “disinfect” the clothing that had been hung above the hole. Meaning of course, that it killed all the lice and fleas hiding in the fabric. Gross. But clever. But also very, very gross. I feel like a weekly bath and a laundry line would have solved that problem with better results. Sunlight is a disinfectant!!
Sometimes the best parts of a trip happen when you don’t have a plan. We had a good idea of what we wanted to do each day. But we also left room for surprises. One day we tried to tour Rockfleet Castle but were thwarted by ongoing renovation, so we went for a drive instead and stumbled onto the Cliffs of Croaghaun. On another day we went to tour Howth Castle in Dublin but could only walk around the grounds thanks to a film set. However, one of the security guards suggested we visit Trim Castle instead. We would have never gone there otherwise.
Gale force winds can actually knock you down. Had said winds been coming from the other direction on the Cliffs of Croaghaun, we’d be floating somewhere in the Atlantic right now.
Standing at the far western edge of Europe, on top of a cliff, at sunset, can only be described as a religious experience. Surprise is the great enabler of seeing. We weren’t expecting these cliffs but we drove upon them suddenly and words still fail to describe the experience. So do pictures.
You can’t plan a religious experience. Just let it happen.
A castle is great if you can keep it. Good grief, did these fortresses change hands from one invading army to another. They also changed hands among the nobility. Then later, amongst wealthy families. They are notoriously hard to care for. Westport House is currently undergoing a 55 million dollar renovation. And many other castles in Ireland are now owned by the state because the cost of upkeep is prohibitive.
You can, in fact, consume too much Irish whiskey. And one does not even have to become inebriated to reach this point.
The E in whiskey was added to let consumers know that certain brands were premium quality. There is a difference between whisky and whiskEy. I’d always wondered why it could be spelled with or without that E. (Copyeditors, please take note)
Irish whiskey is aged in oak barrels for exactly three years and one day. Why? Because the Scots only age their whiskey for three years and the Irish must be better At All Costs. Not that they are petty or competitive. (Editor’s note: does “petty” have its roots in “competitive?” Must investigate).
When traveling with friends, book part (or all) of your stay in an AirBNB. This will give you a home base and a chance to do your laundry.
Also, travel with people who know how to flip a switch to make the washer work. And by “people” we of course mean husbands.
Don’t overpack. You’ll end up wearing the same sweater and jeans almost every day because A) it looks cute and B) they the most comfortable items you brought.
Also, don’t fret about the fashion. Social media influencers being what they are, their reach is no longer local. Day-to-day fashion has become remarkably homogenized. A uniform of jeans or black pants with crisp white sneakers and a cute top/sweater will take you from the most casual event to the fanciest.
Do bring your most comfortable walking shoes. Everyone wears sneakers, in all their glory, everywhere.
Don’t try to look like you’re anything but a tourist. It doesn’t matter if you speak the language or wear the same clothes, you will stand out as other no matter what. Americans, especially, have a certain bearing, a confidence in how we walk even when we’re lost, that draws heads. If you consider the history of where you’re traveling, that becomes more understandable. We have never been invaded. None living have experienced the atrocities of war on our soil. We have never been conquered, and it shows.
Don’t try to do too much. Listen, there is SO much to see in this world. You can’t see it all in one go, nor should you try. There’s a sense of urgency when you travel overseas: you’ve spent a gazillion dollars on this trip and you have to visit every attraction, every museum, take every tour or boat or walk, find every Instagrammable photo spot. You don’t. Limit yourself to a morning excursion and an afternoon excursion at most, and let the rest happen. The best parts of this trip were the unscripted ones.
When traveling with friends, let everyone play to their strengths. On this journey, we had an unflappable driver, a logistics lover, a navigator extraordinaire, and a rare experience finder. That’s the *perfect* combination. Also, you have to go with the flow. If your team is saying hey, let’s take a day off and veg by the fire with a book, you should listen. And if your team is raring to go but you aren’t, stay behind and chill.
Pick your travel partners wisely. One of my favorite experiences of the whole trip was discovering how much we had in common with our friends. That might sound strange–they’re close enough friends that we wanted to go overseas for two weeks with them–but we found we liked the same “experiences” and our living together overseas rhythms were very much in sync. If you have early bird museum troopers matched with slow on-ramp country walkers, you might get frustrated. We discovered we really loved having a home base in a small town that allowed us to explore and ramble around. Going forward, we’ll allocate fewer days to the cities and more to the moors and coasts.
The North West Coast of Ireland is hideous. Horrible. Awful. DO NOT LIKE. DO NOT GO! Okay, I’m joking. At the airport, when we checked bags for Knock (no choice, small plane), the attendant asked where we were going. I said Knock, and he said “Have you been?” I said “No,” and he replied, “Few have.” I didn’t realize at the time that the area we visited is literally NEVER recommended. Everyone stops at Galway (zero stars, not recommended—a catchphrase for this trip became “f*cking Galway”). But Westport and northward? Exceptional. Ruggedly beautiful, incredible food, friendly folks, and some of the most striking coastlines you will ever see. Maybe the romantic nature of the research was getting to us, but it was a life-changing few days, and that’s not said lightly. Hands down the best part of the trip.
And finally, feel free to wander onto film sets. They love that. Then go have a coffee nearby. You might see a Dame or two. (We’re looking at you, Lesley Manville).
Truly the trip of a lifetime. Can’t wait to go again!